who is to blame? (you are)

On Wednesday I began this post and left readers on a a very cruel cliffhanger.

Here is the post in full.

Think back 20 years to the 1990’s…. Yes I said TWENTY YEARS.

Now catch your breath at the realisation that so much time has passed and we are no longer young.

Back in the 90’s there were no memes, or GIFS or social media. It was all e-mails and texts.

You probably remember having to use a phone box for what it was originally designed for as well.

Something happened in the 1990’s that explains a lot of what is happening around us today.

If the you of today could travel back in time and speak the you of the mid-90’s and explain what the world looks like now.. They would call you a nutter! But not before greeting you by saying “WHaaaaaaassssssaaaaaaaap!”

But if you were to describe the world as it is today….

From Mad despots who insist on making people sit around a table and telling him how great he is (seriously Trump - you are weird) to the many MANY deaths of famous people in an 18 month period, and those who don’t die turn out to be kiddy fiddlers all the way through to a Prime Minister who wasn’t voted into power losing a huge majority of that power by calling an election nobody asked for just days before the most important negotiations as we leave the European Union…. To mention just a few things of recent history.

Once you had stopped screaming and pulling your hair out your younger self would probably just shrug and say it’s all your fault say “What-eva” and do that stupid head wobble thing.

It is at this point you would grab them by the shoulders and tell the younger you that all of these things are the direct result of your actions in the 1990’s.

If only we had heeded the warnings given to us in our youth…..

But we were head strong, we knew it all….. We dared to turn our backs on fate and now the price is being paid.

If were not for one single act of madness made by every teenager and younger person who lived just before the dawn of the 21st century, all of this madness could have been avoided.

But how?

What possible thing could we have done to prevent the tragedy that is modern life?

The answer lies within our old email accounts.

In the dim and distant past, before WhatsApp and SnapCHat and Facebook and Twitter, email was king and every single person who had an email account received at least one email telling them that bad luck would befall them if they did not forward the email on to 7 other people with ten minutes of reading….

We all laughed it off.

Of course we did.

Those emails were stupid and pointless. The precursor to spam (not Spam).

But what if there was something within those messages?

An actual curse that has multiplied by the millions of messages that were not forwarded on?

Imagine a world doomed to live out the last of it’s days under a fate of that magnitude….

It would be an upside down world where reality TV hosts are in charge of the nuclear codes, Where hospitals across the world can be brought to a standstill with the press of a single button by some little shit in North Korea, a world where it’s not okay to make a recording of your own child at a school play for fear of being set on fire by the local daily mail readers.

A world where being a fussy eater is now known as a lifestyle choice…..

JEEBUS H BISCUITS, PEOPLE!!!

IT’S ALL COMING TRUE!

If only we had pressed send instead of delete…..

Damn.

We are cursed.

We are damned.