Stage One: The reason for being

Jan 21, 2017

Our journey together begins with an explaination into why we are here in the first place.

It has been a long time since I last published anything to the web and in that time the world... well, how can I put this politely... the world went to shit.

I blame myself of course.

Without my guidance, the simpletons who run thi world had nothing to base their rules and plans upon.

That's how we got Brexit (the word alone had to have been created by a gimp of the hightest order) and Donald J Trump defying the odds and becoming the President of the United States of America.

Let alone the deaths of many beloved celebrities in 2016, I can't help but wonder if I had only kept my eye on the ball, would we be in the state we find ourselves in now?

Probably, yes.

But that is no reason for me to sit on the side lines and let things carry on the way they are.

Somebody needs to stand up and be counted.

Somebody needs to fight the good fight and put right the wrongs that face humanity and say "NO! ah ah ah, that's naughty." to the bad things that are sure to rise up against common sense.

That someboy is me.

And I plan to prove my worth right here - right now.

If you live in the UK you may have seen one of those Muller Rice adverts where a woman walks into shot, picks up a tub of rice pudding, eats it and then falls over, laughing maniacally.

There are variations on the same theme, but the same basic premise applies in each advert.

Woman eats pudding - falls over - laughs.

I have often found these adverts to be disturbing at best and somehow offensive to people with balance issues at worst.

With that in mind I got in touch with Muller via Twitter, just before creating this blog.

It reads:

ME: How come the woman in the @MullerUKandI advert keeps falling over? Is she ill? Does stealing Muller Rice make your legs give way?

This got a reply from the good people at Muller who said:

Muller: Her mind is occupied on our delicious yogurts, not where she is going (emoji of a smiling winky face)

To which I replied:

Doesn't really come across in the adverts. It's like she has some sort of balance problem. Offer her a chair in the next ad.

Since sending this tweet on th 12th of January, I have not seen a single Muller rice advert where the woman falls over.

The only ones I have seen now cut away before the poor lass has a chance to injure herself.

This is a good thing and proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have the Superhuman ability to put right wrongs just like Sam Beckett did in Quantum Leap (although I don't have a sex pest hologram for company... which is a shame).

So folks, as we venture together into a strange and dangerous future, know that I FITZSIP am here to keep you safe from the maddening, the odd and the unrequired crapfest that COULD occur.

You are very welcome.

NOTE: The @sinkingship_UK twitter handle is a seperate PRE-FITZSIP account and all future twitter shinanigans will be performed by @Fitzsip.

Follow @Fitzsip for regular internet based heroics.