Pulled Meat

In my never ending quest to solve all the worlds problems, it is time to move into the world of Food and drink with a look into one of the most sexually aggressively named foods.....

It seems almost impossible these days to walk into a any food establishment without seeing meat that been "pulled" on the menu.

Pulled pork, pulled chicken and now - pulled beef.

It's everywhere.

And whatsmore - it's awful.

When the concept of pulled pork first hit the streets it was seen as a revelation.

Everybody wanted in on this brand new way of ruining food.

TV chefs were visibly aroused at the thought of showing the mouth breathing idiots, glued to their 50 inch TV screens, the best way to ruin perfectly good edible animal flesh, by pouring tons of sickly BBQ sauce on it and then ripping it to shreads before blobbing it on a plate or inside a burger bun.

But that wasn't enough.

Soon we had these glorified school cooks attempting the same thing with chicken and now they're doing with beef as well.

In a national case of the Emperor's New Clothes, every idiot sees the word PULLED on the menu and goes into giddy shock before ordering what is sure to be the adult equivalent of baby food smothered in syrup.

It's too much.

Nobody REALLY like pulled meat.

Anyone who claims they do is an idiot and likely watches Mrs Browns Boys without any hint of irony or self loathing.

Pulled meat should be banned.

Or at the very least taken off the menu until everybody calms down a bit.

"But what do we replace it with?" - I hear at least one of you ask.

The answer is obvious..

SPAM!